Sunday, May 12, 2024

i thought i was healed

when you go through anxiety , and you hit the healing phase, you start hoping that everyday is just on step ahead to find yourself back.
obviously, it is not that easy, today is good the rest of the days are more complicated, and then one day, you get a continuous good feeling day after day.

and here you are facing life , strong , may be not as before but still it is cool, you are moving forward.
and out of nowhere, one day, you receive a message, you see something, you get a call, and your hands are shaking, your heart is racing, your breathing is not as smooth as usual.
and for a second you are scared, it is back, that bad feeling, the hurting emotion is back.... and just like that you welcome back the panic, and you wonder what can be done.

first of all, breathe, breathe loudly, if you have a support system call it, and the most important deconstruct  the situation by answering to the questions:
- what is bothering me?
- what can be the best responses?
- will i be ok if i don't give a response?
- why am i reacting this way?
by using the 5 why methods you should be able to get close to the real reason that made you feel bad .

this friday, i have answered a message in an honest way, doing so i have received an answer that made me feel bad, during a second i felt anxiety back, i felt that all my healing process was not finished.
just after that i had to drive and i almost was hit by  a car . at that moment i have decided that i won't care about all of this.
if anyone cannot understand my action of decision it is ok i should not feel as bad as that day.

anxiety doesn't go, it will be co-living with us; and in every stressful situation it might come back
so be strong what ever happen, and have a great support system

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