i am worth fighting for..remember that

What i love about poetry on instagram, is that with very short sentences or text, you can be touched and feel special.
i found this : you are worth fighting for, remember that, and at that moment i remembered that i do matter, and obvisouly it reminded me of someone telling me that he does matter in my life, it's funny how everything goes together and quickly.
so right now in my situation, with my broken heart and difficult choices to face, i have to remember that my happiness is what matters most, and yes i am worth fighting for.
i have asked someone actually not just someone but i should call him the one to fight for me, to go beyond those limit and show me that i am important , he didn't and i think it will always be a regret i will have in my life.
so i think i should move on and find the person that would be ready to fight for me, to be ready to make me the first and only priority.
i am 36 years old, i do matter and i am worth fighting for!!

How to introduce your self?

Hi my name is Djamila and i will be your trainer for the coming days, this is how most of the time i would introduce my self when i enter my classroom

Then there is the other introdcution i will have in an event, i would say hi my name is Djamila am a technical trainer for a Chinese company, i have a master degree from National Polytechnical school in electronics, and most of the time i would hear oh waw that's interesting, that's cool, which for me i would qualify it as that's normal, if i can do it anyone should be able to do it as well.

but then what i am really is not just this, i love my job and i love the technical world i am living in, but it should not be the best way to describe me, but being part of a judgmental society, it's a very dangerous fact to say out loud who you are, becasue instead of being that intellectual friend that we are happy to exhibit around you will become that exotic person that no one wants to relate to, and everyone is showing their distance from you.

so for many years, i have been the engineer, the worker, the teacher, till the day i accepted the fact that i am exotic and this is one of what makes me ME.

so on this blog and on any possible occasion, if i have to talk about my self i would say, i'm djamila, globetrotter,  languages passionate,writer,chef, knitter , dancer from the heart, africain soul , taiji learner, and skydiver, and just at that moment i would add ohhh am an technical engineer in telecommunication and after people listening to me were ready to put me in the exotic crazy box they just got confused, this person cannot be classified, it's that free electron that is running around and everywhere and we don;t know what to do with her,
for me it did not matter, i am me, crazy enough to dance in a mall because i like the music, totally nuts to travel for the weekend to the southest of the continent just to meet my best friends and have few dances, or i will spend hours making baby clothes coz the winter is coming, will choose to bake cookies, because the smell of it will remove any negative thoughts.
so i believe that introduce your self means first accepting who you are, and being able to make the right judgment to share that information with the right people.
i am sure that my fancy personality is having more effect on me now that i embraced who i am, but i still decided to not share it with everyone. becasue there is nothing worst than a judgemental eye. 

2016 a difficult year

when 2016 has started i was expecting it to be a crazy amazing year!!! i did not have that much resolutions, just wishing to get the best of it.
professionally i had to face challenges, by teaching after sales staff from Algeria or even from India, knowing the difficulty to stand strong in front of field guys , with years experience, and convince them that u can teach them something new and you have knowledge.
but it was a good thing for me, i was able to work harder to bring the best of this training.

This life is a continuity of up and downs , and that moment i was feeling strong enough to face any thing, i had the most difficult experience, out of nowhere, the man of my life, my father got sick, and suddenly my world crushed, every certainty has vanished, i realized that nothing can be awesome and amazing all time.
it was one of the hardest time ever, i had to move on and be strong, and be there for him, we have been lucky enough to find the right persons at the right moment, but the moment you realize that your main strength is weak it's a big tornado, and even when my father got better, i felt insecure, i felt  not able to leave home anymore, i felt the necessity to be around my family all time.

and the leaving moment arrived, the forced leaving , when job is calling you and you cannot refuse it, i had to deal emotionally with myself to manage my fear to let go, i arrived to india, a new country, a new destination and a new adventure.
i had the chance to see a dream come true, when i visited the TajMahal, the love symbol place, i felt happy , and even going there alone, i realized that being happy with my self is the best achievement i can do.
2016 is not over yet, i am getting ready for few adventure before to move on to 2017.
i just hope i can have those special moments i have in my mind!!!