i had high hopes on this month!!!
i believed that it was the right moment to get some new habits, to clean my life and start over, so i focused on praying more, reading quran, being nicer, smile more, cleanse my mind and my heart
unfortunately, after 20 days, i felt the anxiety surrounding me, i get lost in my mind and confused with my emotions, the habit that i was able to construct for 20 days have been lost in two days of strong anxiety.
and then a new exercise had to be started, being strong enough to live through the negative energy without loosing what have been learned lately.
i had to balance between loving my self and blaming my self for not being strong enough, i had to feel the loneliness and yet to keep my head above water to avoid drowning
i realized that to feel better i needed someone that understand every little feeling i was having, someone as he said that loves me and that is stubborn, luckily i love him too.
ramadhan has been hard this year, the stress of not being able to make everything perfect as i wished, not able to be finish my bucket list somehow, made me consider the fact that i have to work hard during the year to improve, to protect myself from all what could hurt, and to be strong
May allah gives us the strenght to be better
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