BabyHug!!!

that moment you hold a baby, and hug him you will feel his body relaxing, his little hands reaching your shoulder and he will feel safe enough.
when everything is confusing and no one is around to take care of you, hug a baby, even if you don;t know him, but you meet in a market , you can always ask to hold and hug a baby, they have free love and it does heal everything
i found my little source of love!!!

Happily in shit

two months ago i wanted to write a post named happily in shit, i realized that most of the time we will find our self in a very difficult situation but still find a way to be happy.

so here i was and still am in a weird situation where brain and heart don;t agree, where emotions are too strong to be ignored, where moving on should be an option but i keep still in my position, and find myself happy somehow.

it's during moments like this i see how complex a human being is.

be honest with yourself happiness will be your gift

2017 has started on an emotional way for me, which can be good or bad depending how i manage it.
To get motivation and keep going with life i have watch many videos, tedtalks about happiness, couples therapy etc... and i found myself relating to few situations

how many times anyone of us have we been in a relationship and we heard our self saying i need you in my life, i can;t live without you, i can't face life without you? and then after a week, a month a year the relationship slow down, we see our selves falling out of love, and moving on.

but how about all those words we have exchanged, how about all these promises we had, were we lying to each others? I don;t think so, the moment i said i cannot live without you i meant it, from all my heart mind and soul, but right now i am not with you and i am still alive and fine.

We have that ability to forget through the time, that make us able to move on and reconstruct our self, but i started to belive that if we stop lying to ourself life would be easier.

it would be more realistic to say honey , right now i am so in love with you, all what i want is to spend a quite evening with you, than saying, i love you so much i can never be happy without you in my life.

moving on step by step, enjoying every single happiness moment, without extrapolation to an unknown future is what makes happiness last longer.

Everyday, i learn more about myself, and i try to keep stronger !!!

Positive Attitude

In this first month of 2017, and very soon the begining of the Chinese New Year, let's take a moment to reflect on whatever happened on the last 12 months, keep the best, learn from the worst and be ready to do better.

Every single day is a new chance to repair whatever was broken, to improve whoever we are, and to learn to go beyond our limits.

so even if life is hard and hurting, look for the positive of it, to go up and higher, never doubt how strong you can be to face any difficulty.

let's bring the positive of everyone around us!!!

Cheers!!

When Internet find the words o was looking for

・・・
To my lover,

Let's have a deal. If one day you get attracted to somebody else, before you get her number or before you make a move or before you flirt back 'unconsiously', I want you to tell me. Tell it straight to my face. Tell me that someone else is getting your attention. Tell me that a part of you is still missing even if you're with me. I don't care if it will crush my heart and I couldn't care less if it will break us apart. I just want you to be honest with me. We both deserve each other's honesty, right? I never want you to do something that will make you look or feel bad. You're not a cheater and I will not allow you to start to become one. And even though I want you all to myself, my love for you is greater than my own selfishness. Your happiness will always come first. So if one day you wake up and realize that I'm no longer the reason why you're excited to open your eyes or if someone else is already making you smile like a goofball, please tell me. Because no matter how much you mean to me, I'm willing to give you your freedom to choose what makes you happy.
Yours trully.
--B.Estreller
.
.l

strong or weak

i have always heard my self saying , i love who i am when you are around, and then when the person is not around i wonder how do i feel about my self.
it took me time to become an independent person, with the strength to feel happy for who i am and not for who i am with. and as difficult as it was that achievement is one of the most important.
and then, sometimes i fall in love, and just like that i lose what ever i have built, for the only reason, that i start trusting the person, and give that person the possibility to make me happy, to take care of me, and suddenly, me who was ready to be strong and independent, i find myself depending on someone for everything even for a smile.
aie aie aie, djamila you should be able to depend on urself all the time.
life is about balance, and it's the most difficult thing to reach

i am worth fighting for..remember that

What i love about poetry on instagram, is that with very short sentences or text, you can be touched and feel special.
i found this : you are worth fighting for, remember that, and at that moment i remembered that i do matter, and obvisouly it reminded me of someone telling me that he does matter in my life, it's funny how everything goes together and quickly.
so right now in my situation, with my broken heart and difficult choices to face, i have to remember that my happiness is what matters most, and yes i am worth fighting for.
i have asked someone actually not just someone but i should call him the one to fight for me, to go beyond those limit and show me that i am important , he didn't and i think it will always be a regret i will have in my life.
so i think i should move on and find the person that would be ready to fight for me, to be ready to make me the first and only priority.
i am 36 years old, i do matter and i am worth fighting for!!

How to introduce your self?

Hi my name is Djamila and i will be your trainer for the coming days, this is how most of the time i would introduce my self when i enter my classroom

Then there is the other introdcution i will have in an event, i would say hi my name is Djamila am a technical trainer for a Chinese company, i have a master degree from National Polytechnical school in electronics, and most of the time i would hear oh waw that's interesting, that's cool, which for me i would qualify it as that's normal, if i can do it anyone should be able to do it as well.

but then what i am really is not just this, i love my job and i love the technical world i am living in, but it should not be the best way to describe me, but being part of a judgmental society, it's a very dangerous fact to say out loud who you are, becasue instead of being that intellectual friend that we are happy to exhibit around you will become that exotic person that no one wants to relate to, and everyone is showing their distance from you.

so for many years, i have been the engineer, the worker, the teacher, till the day i accepted the fact that i am exotic and this is one of what makes me ME.

so on this blog and on any possible occasion, if i have to talk about my self i would say, i'm djamila, globetrotter,  languages passionate,writer,chef, knitter , dancer from the heart, africain soul , taiji learner, and skydiver, and just at that moment i would add ohhh am an technical engineer in telecommunication and after people listening to me were ready to put me in the exotic crazy box they just got confused, this person cannot be classified, it's that free electron that is running around and everywhere and we don;t know what to do with her,
for me it did not matter, i am me, crazy enough to dance in a mall because i like the music, totally nuts to travel for the weekend to the southest of the continent just to meet my best friends and have few dances, or i will spend hours making baby clothes coz the winter is coming, will choose to bake cookies, because the smell of it will remove any negative thoughts.
so i believe that introduce your self means first accepting who you are, and being able to make the right judgment to share that information with the right people.
i am sure that my fancy personality is having more effect on me now that i embraced who i am, but i still decided to not share it with everyone. becasue there is nothing worst than a judgemental eye. 

2016 a difficult year

when 2016 has started i was expecting it to be a crazy amazing year!!! i did not have that much resolutions, just wishing to get the best of it.
professionally i had to face challenges, by teaching after sales staff from Algeria or even from India, knowing the difficulty to stand strong in front of field guys , with years experience, and convince them that u can teach them something new and you have knowledge.
but it was a good thing for me, i was able to work harder to bring the best of this training.

This life is a continuity of up and downs , and that moment i was feeling strong enough to face any thing, i had the most difficult experience, out of nowhere, the man of my life, my father got sick, and suddenly my world crushed, every certainty has vanished, i realized that nothing can be awesome and amazing all time.
it was one of the hardest time ever, i had to move on and be strong, and be there for him, we have been lucky enough to find the right persons at the right moment, but the moment you realize that your main strength is weak it's a big tornado, and even when my father got better, i felt insecure, i felt  not able to leave home anymore, i felt the necessity to be around my family all time.

and the leaving moment arrived, the forced leaving , when job is calling you and you cannot refuse it, i had to deal emotionally with myself to manage my fear to let go, i arrived to india, a new country, a new destination and a new adventure.
i had the chance to see a dream come true, when i visited the TajMahal, the love symbol place, i felt happy , and even going there alone, i realized that being happy with my self is the best achievement i can do.
2016 is not over yet, i am getting ready for few adventure before to move on to 2017.
i just hope i can have those special moments i have in my mind!!! 

Put an A into your STEM

Being a woman that grow up around STEM world, i have always felt comfortable in a technical world, but with time and a lot of trips i found out that the STEM environment is needed but not enough for a real balance life, i found out my self enjoying learning languages or dances from different countries more than improving my technical knowledge.

So i started checking around me , and ask my friends and acquaintances what are their hobbies, what is the only thing that will make them relax, many went for exercising, others would be fan of movies etc... but i found a bunch of students more focus into organizing events, from language day to a specific nationality , from sports tournament to simple science workshops.

And i realized that these students, even if they did focus about the STEM, they were able to bring some Art to their daily life.
and then there are those crazy test on social media asking you which side or your brain is the most predominant , and funny that most of my university mate where happy that their brain is Logical then creative, i was happy that my result showed that i am logical with a good percentage of creativity.

So i have decided to change my routine from work home series sleeping work home, into work, taichi, home, work dancing, home, work writing, home or just from home to learning something new about a country or a culture.
so i see Culture as part of Art, and i believe by doing this i will be able to balance a part of my life.

Now if this can be explained in schools or to parents, we might be able to raise a new generation of STEMer with the love of ART.    

let's try to be STEAMer than STEMer!!!

Facts about Uganda

1) Uganda is the Pearl of Africa
2) Uganda is one of the countries where power coverage is less than 20%
3) When you want to meet somebody right now it’s better to say “ Now Now”
4) Boda-Boda is the real transportation mode for Ugandans in towns
5) The Source of the Nile is in Uganda
6) Ugandan are very friendly people and extremely caring
7) Mobile Money is well implemented in the country and the best way to send and receive money directly from your phone with fees lower than banks
8) There are differnt types of bananas, the small sweet, the big sweet, the one to cook and green bananas obviously they all have names and I am not able to remember them
9) The official language is English and Swahili has jst been introduced to become one of them. Luganda is largely spoken in the central region and ton centers.
10) There is a President of Uganda but also a kings of different tribes, Buganda being one of the kingdoms where Luganda is spoken mainly.
11) When visiting the country you can see so many languages on the panels: English of course but Chinese, Arabic, French.
12) Every Ugandan will have an English name as first name and African name as Family Name , Tradition from the colonial time
13) In Uganda, you might be Christian, muslim or Hidou, you will be respected, and not judged for your religion.
14) Uganda is an Auto Sufficient country, having a very fertile land, fresh vegetables and fruits are a must
15) Kampala is on 7 hills, so you better a be a good driver , otherwise you might be blocked on a steep street.
16) Rule number one if you drive, don’t knock anyone and don’t get knocked , otherwise it will take you at least 3 hours for the police to show up
17) Security is a real concern in Uganda, Working hard to face potential terrorist attacks
18) Christmas is one of the most important celebration of the year
19) The weather is from raining to hot temperature variation during the year is very small, min around 14 max 28 degrees.
20) Most of Ugandan would buy Power bundles according to their needs, which makes it easier to control the budget.
21) Kampala can get foggy
22) Even if situation is not always ok , Ugandans joke a lot and bring good environment
23) Shotguns are everywhere , every security guard will have one either in an office building or at a residence
24) Whatsapp is the chatting application
25) Even if muslims  are less than 15%  of the population, there are enough mosque to hear Azhan almost everywhere
26) Sometimes when family is organizing a party or a dinner and planning to invite muslim guest, the slaughtering will be done by a muslim
27) Betting is a serious deal, Ugandan might spend a lot of time on their weekends betting on games
28) Because of the big water spaces, Uganda have a big variety of birds.
29) When you go to supermarket, you gonna pay attention when you buying chips, it might be different dry fruits chips
30) No plastic bag at the supermarket, only paper bag to keep a clean environment